October holds such sweet memories for me.
Pictures, laughter, friends and family mixed together in memories that
are heavy laden with satisfaction. I have years of some of the fondest
fall memories imaginable. In the past, my son and I have spent the
entire month planning unique family costumes and then executing their
creation. Our family has, in seasons past, shopped on line for karaoke
music and gathered decorations for the most wonderful party of our
year. We have taken hayrides, stumbled through corn mazes, and strolled
through pumpkin patches. I usually cook an amazing array of fall
foods, which have included cranberry pumpkin bread, butternut squash
soup, cranberry pork, pumpkin rolls, and Chai Tea. With the heat of the
summer leaves, my kitchen came alive with the warmth and the smells of
the season. My fall decorations were only slightly less ornate than
Christmas, bringing them out signified the beginning of my holidays. For
many years, most Octobers have been this way for me.
Not this year.
Besides the most obvious changes of not
having my home, friends and the connections that have accompanied it,
our lives took yet another twisted detour. My husband became quite ill
about six weeks ago. We spent the month in and out of emergency rooms
and ended up at UC Davis hospital. My husband spent 4 days with some of
the best doctors in the country trying to diagnose the problem, with no
results to show for it all. The stress of juggling our home schooling
schedule, the needs of our pets, our lack of income, and the enduring
mystery of my husband’s ailment had taken a heavy toll on my little
family.
October came and went for us with little to
no celebration. We drove right past all of the pumpkin patches and
corn mazes. Fortunately my son and I worked on his costume very early,
but there wasn't any time for me to join him this year. I don't really
like to cook in my little trailer kitchen on a normal day, so with this
hectic schedule we were lucky to have Pizza Lunchables and snack pack
pudding. This year, there were no fall colored plates, no twinkling
lights on the mantel amidst sunflowers and cattails, and no pumpkins
decorating our front steps. As the green of summer faded away, so did
the hopes for the rich joy we had possessed in seasons past.
But we still possessed each other. No
thwarting of fall traditions can shake my thankfulness. Although we did
not get a diagnosis for my husband, we were very grateful he was
released from the hospital the day before Halloween so my son was able
to trick or treat with his new friends. This also allowed for our
school party where my son had great fun making spiders and playing
games. My husband is doing better and we have now been "hospital free" for three weeks. We
spent a lot of time together and my son was a trooper with the schedule
changes. He was a great caregiver, kept up on his schoolwork, and
really did not complain about the things he was missing. He seemed
mindful of the small acts of God’s grace. I found this impressive and
humbling coming from a 6 year old. October did not turn out the way I
had planned. I am thankful, nonetheless, for the blessings that came our
way in these circumstances.
Our family made it through on promises. Promises we found in God’s word.
I have heard your prayers and seen your tears; I will heal you. 2 Kings 20:5
Do not be afraid, stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. Exodus 14:13
We have allowed the word of God to comfort
us through some very dark days. He was our strength when we had none.
It was God who calmed our fears and saw through our tears. He is not
finished with this yet, but we are standing with Him and anticipating
what He is doing in our lives. I trust my God to be with me until it is
finished. This has been a very different time for us. I have been
learning to let go of many of my traditions and plans in order to live
the life I am given. God has met all of my needs. This year I have let
go of things I value, only to find my heart full of His Grace.
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